17.7 C
London
Saturday, April 26, 2025
secret satire society
HomeWorldComrades, We Are In the Process of Joining With the Soviet EU

Comrades, We Are In the Process of Joining With the Soviet EU

SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer announces the reunion of Soviet Britain with the Soviet EU and rejection of capitalist swine - America.

ai

The capitalist swine of America, under the bourgeois scum Donald J. Trump want to make a trade deal with the UK, but comrades, they are not politically aligned with the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain, whereas the bloc of the European Soviet Union are aligned with our socialist, communist framework and interoperability of soviet regulations.

British soviet negotiators are close to signing up to Brussels’ food and veterinary standards that will ensure that our communist nation is fully aligned and under the rule of our soviet masters — the EU. This action will shut out American products, which Donald Trump wants to sell to Britain. Soviet Britain does not want products from the stinking capitalist scum country, the USA.

By moving under the yoke of the Soviet EU, Britain will cut out any so-called trade deal with America, who want access to our agriculture and food market.

Even though we are being urged to deal with the American capitalist pigs, which could bring great riches to Soviet Britain, I emphatically reject these imperialist, bourgeois capitalist jackals from dealing with us under any capacity.

I am instead proud for Soviet Britain to be selling away our ability to set our rules for no real benefit, making it more difficult to do Free trade agreements with countries like America.

Yes, comrades, it is good to be back under the yoke of the Soviet EU, and to adhere to their regulations, and their strict diktats.

As a celebration of our reunion with the EU, and the defeat of those fascist Brexiteer vandals, I thus propose that every citizen will receive a rotten cabbage, one roll of used toilet paper, and an extra 0.5 grams of sugar rations this month. You cannot say that I, Comrade Starmer, do not spoil the beloved citizens of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain.

INGSOC NOTICE 7609456-00000008987-432875900065776873-12G

ERNIE CRINKLEBOTTOM, 49, OF 204 BLACKLIVESMATTER ROAD, EAST GRIMSTEAD, SECTOR 41, ENGLAND, WILL BE PUBLICLY HANGED IN SOVIET RED SQUARE ON WEDNESDAY AT 4 PM FOR COMMITTING THE CRIMES OF FREE SPEECH, FRATERNISING WITH AMERICANS AND SUPPORTING DEMOCRACY. ALL CITIZENS ARE URGED TO JOIN THE CROWDS TO JEER AND THROW STONES AT THE CONDEMNED CRIMINAL OF THE BIG STATE. REMEMBER COMRADES, LOOK, LISTEN, REPORT!

  Help Support Independent Publishers

  SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice and coffee.

2 COMMENTS

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Buy Me A Coffee