Jobseekers Need to Sign On Every 32 Seconds Says Duncan Smith

LONDON - England - Minister for the DWP, Iain Duncan Smith is in the last stages of putting through a proposal that will ensure jobseekers will be looking for jobs in an effective manner, like every 32 seconds

 

Anyone who receives jobseekers allowance will have to sign on at their local job centre every 32 seconds. There will be timers on desks and also clocks on every wall ticking away with audio chimes every 32 seconds in a 24 hour period.

If jobseekers do not keep to the timing schedule they will be punished by having their benefits docked for a six month period. If the discrepancies in time keeping continue then all benefits will be stopped and they will be given a zero hour contract job whether they like it or not.

Mr Duncan Smith’s department have also been busy recruiting extra staff and time keepers to oversee the massive operation.

One jobseeker from Frantingham Barley in Yorkshire was incandescent about the new scheme which is called ‘123 Go!”

“I live 10 miles away from my nearest job centre, this means I’ll have to spend money on a sleeping bag, running shoes and a stop watch. I can’t afford food or a bus fare. A pox on you Smith.”

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: benefitsuk

Recent Posts

Tories Choose Non-Hardline Diversity Candidate Kemi Badenoch as Next Leader

LONDON - England - The Tories have chosen Kemi Badenoch as their new leader.

3 hours ago

The Dekulakization of British Farms is Underway

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - Say goodbye to British farms as Labour conducts a policy…

10 hours ago

Early Votes Indicate Kamala Harris Will Win Election

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Kamala Harris is well ahead with early ballots counted, and…

1 day ago

Kamala Harris Wants to Do Rally With Load of Garbage

MILWAUKEE - USA - The Kamala Harris election campaign team want her to do a…

2 days ago

Bond Markets Digest the Nightmare Debt Bomb Labour Budget

LONDON - England - The financial and bond markets have sadly digested the utter lies…

3 days ago

Biden Hate Speech: “Trump Supporters Are Garbage!”

WASHINGTON DC - USA - According to Joe Biden "Trump supporters are garbage" as he…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.