EAST GRINSTEAD - England - Commissar Reeves has declared the Big State borrowing levels of £137.3 billion a great success in her ungrowth further debt policies.
Commissar Reeves of the People’s Soviet Tax Ministry of Soviet Britain made another joyful announcement today about our beloved Big State borrowing.
“Comrades, my growth policies of taxing the proles by £40 billion, increasing business bureaucracy and regulation, and ruining the economy have worked wonders in destroying growth.
“In the interest of Big State spending, salaries, and pensions, train driver salaries, Marxist unions, council bosses, civil servants, NHS bosses etc. I will be increasing state borrowing again so that our debt level of £2.8 trillion is well on track to meeting our target £6.4 trillion by 2029.
“It is your duty as a worker to work harder in your shit jobs, and continue to try to run a business under the anti-capitalist environment I have created so that high party members and Big State apparatchiks can live the life of Riley off your fucking peasant backs. Thank you. Now, fuck off.”
Under the joyous rule of Commissar Reeves and her budget, benefits spending has risen by £2.5 billion to £26 billion. Central Big State departments spent £36.9 billion – up by £3.2 billion – on salary increases, foreign flights, parties, heating, second homes, safari trips and home renovations.
Interest payments on Soviet Britain’s £2.8 trillion national debt also rose, costing £4.3 billion last month, but this is fine because the debt will be left for the next generations to pay for it. It’s not our problem comrades, we are socialists. Relax! Now keep on spending!
INGSOC NOTICE 039977777323-48227Y-00090000973-034223-T1T5-69-FU7
ALL MEMBERS OF THE OFFICE FOR BUDGET RESPONSIBILITY (OBR) WILL BE SHOT ON THURSDAY, 15:00 IN PICCADILLY RED SQUARE AFTER COMING UP WITH THEIR LATEST REPORT ON COMMISSAR REEVES. THE CRIMINALS WILL THEN BE PROCESSED INTO COMMISSAR MILIBAND’S LATEST NUTRITIOUS CONCOCTION — NET ZERO JUICE. AVAILABLE IN ALL SHOPS FOR ONLY 10P A PINT. ALL PROLES AND HIGH PARTY OFFICIALS ARE WELCOME TO ATTEND THE DELIGHTFUL EVENT. MAKE A DAY OF IT. BRING THE FAMILY. REMEMBER COMRADES, LOOK, LISTEN, REPORT!
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