Comrades, we are happy to announce that all your previously encrypted data on Apple devices will be freely viewable by any Labour government official, thoughtcrime Stasi officer, or any third party/hackers. The People’s Republic of Soviet Britain has ordered the vile capitalist American tech company Apple to take away any form of encryption defence for their devices, so all your data will be viewable by anyone who wants to view it.
FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY
Yes, this new Labour Directive is for your own safety, as we will arrest you for thoughtcrimes that you may utter that may be harmful to yourself and consequently to the Big State. We thank the socialist Conservative government who created this directive before we assumed power.
Commissar Yvette Cooper, our chief Stasi Thoughtcrime Officer, has kindly arranged for the entirety of your private data to be transferred periodically to our own databases where it will be monitored and examined with a digital microscope.
The stupid capitalist democratic Americans have threatened the UK. They say our removal of encryption poses a serious a threat to American national security and that the US government should re-evaluate its intelligence-sharing agreements with the UK. The People’s Republic of Soviet Britain does not take orders from capitalist swine, and we do not care about the USA. Fuck America!
REMEMBER, BY TAKING AWAY ENCRYPTION, HACKERS WILL BE ABLE TO ENTER YOUR APPLE DEVICE’S DATA WITH EASE – HAVE A NICE DAY!
Comrade Starmer and Commissar Reeves, who recently visited fellow communist state China, were given tips on how to implement the same Police State principles they utilise.
Double plus good news, comrades! Biometric face recognition has been implemented in Cardiff, Wales, and will be rolled out to the entirety of the UK soon.
The Stasi Thoughtcrime Ministry will also implement a Chinese Soviet style Citizen Rating System (social credit system) that will punish citizens who commit thoughtcrimes against the Big State by limiting their freedoms even further, and in some cases imprisoning them in gulags or detaining them in Labour Woke Re-education Facilities.
INGSOC NOTICE 4532652-239187677818223-4313-923-2-32-2-1-234-1
CITIZEN MARY SMITH, 12, WAS AWARDED 2.1 GRAMS OF SUGAR RATION INCREASE FOR THE MONTH OF MARCH FOR REPORTING THOUGHTCRIMES COMMITTED BY HER 8-YEAR-OLD BROTHER, HER GRANDMOTHER AND HER FATHER. THE THOUGHTCRIMES WERE COMMITTED AWAY FROM THEIR APPLE IPHONE DEVICES AND THE BIG STATE COULD NOT MONITOR THEIR ACTIVITIES AT THE TIME. THE THOUGHTCRIMINALS WERE REMOVED FROM THEIR PLACE OF ABODE AND HAVE NOW BEEN PERMANENTLY ERASED/CANCELLED. REMEMBER COMRADES, THE BIG STATE IS ALWAYS WATCHING BUT IF YOU SEE, HEAR ANYTHING, REPORT IT IMMEDIATELY TO YOUR LOCAL STASI AGENT WITHOUT DELAY. THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY!
Dumped my iPhone. No more Apple products.
I’ve used Apple since 1997. This level of betrayal smacks me pretty hard. It’s a sad day for freedom in the UK.
You can’t use an apple device in the UK anymore.
The perverts in the gov can look at my family snaps if they so desire. This country is now a police state fascist regime.
One of the reasons I use Apple is because of their safety and encryption. Not anymore. I will have to look elsewhere and will be selling all my Apple stuff. Thank you Tim Cooke for backing down to the Nazis.
I just put my iPhone on sale at eBay. Never going to use an Apple product ever again.
Thanks to Labour I will be ditching all my apple products. It’s a shame because I’m a graphic designer but it is what it is. I have three macs and an iphone all going to be sold off and I will never touch an apple product ever again in my life.
A sad day for free speech and thought. My various macs have now been assigned to the dustbin.
It’s sad but I used Apple all my life. I’ve got nothing to hide but I don’t like being watched or spied on all the time. 99% of people are innocent yet they bring out this tyrranical horror show spying. I can no longer use any Apple products. Sorry Apple love you but it’s over 🙁
Why did Apple bow to the commies so easy?
I feel so sad that this has happened to Britain it is now a horrible place and I saw this old grandmother bothered by these thought police it was on the news. We have people being murdered and kids dying from knife crime and the police do nothing about that. I feel sickness to the pit of my stomach. This country I grew up in is now over its finished its over and once it’s gone it’s gone
Trump aiint going to do anything about it. What can he do? The UK is now a tyranny.
The UK is the laughing stock of the world
Well there goes my iphone out the window. I don’t want the Labour politburo thumbing through my banking details or private photos. Disgusting. Looks like it’s an Android phone for me now.
There goes my macbook pro I’ll sell it on eBay. No one will buy Apple again in the UK