Comrades, We Wish 760,000 Pensioners a Merry Freezing Christmas Death

Comrades, we are happy to announce that 760,000 cash-strapped pensioners who were entitled to receive Pension Credit did not fill in the 450 question form to receive fuel assistance this winter. Thankfully, many of these old has-beens are not conversant in the workings of the internet, or filling in large confusing forms. This is how we designed it, so they will all be shivering to fucking death this freezing Christmas. Even by some weird anomaly or lucky chance a pensioner manages to somehow apply for the Pension Credit, we have an entire department of dedicated civil servants working to reject the applications.

Any citizen who finds a dead frozen elderly pensioner either in their home or in the wet freezing unforgiving streets is to inform their friendly local Stasi agent, who will arrange immediate cremation, and the records of the deceased individual erased from existence.

Yesterday was the last chance to file a claim Pension Credit for the ‘qualifying week’ of 16 to 22 September. Our departments of well paid civil servants in fully heated offices thankfully rejected the majority of applications.

It is estimated that more than 4,000 pensioners now will die from the freezing winter conditions this year alone, but frankly we at Labour HQ and the office of Rachel Reeves are disappointed that the number of deaths are so low. The Soviet People’s Republic of Britain would prefer a death count of at least 50,000 pensioners per annum. Hopefully, we will reach these hefty targets.

For the Soviet Labour Party, old people and pensioners are treated as cash cows with the maximum levels of disgust they deserve.

Comrades, we have been informed by our Stasi Thoughtcrime officers in the BBC that some people who believe in the terrible crime of free speech, satire and parody have created a song mocking the Labour Party’s wonderful plan to murder thousands of old age pensioners this winter. Luckily, the illegal plan to play the Christmas song was thwarted by Stsi agents, and the song was denied any form of air play. In Soviet Britain, we cannot have things like satire and parody, and as we all know freedom of speech is a serious crime punishable by total liquidation and cancellation.

INGSOC ORDER 89944440-C54491-A3

Jenny Huejasse, 34, of Grimdyke Avenue, Manchester has been awarded an increase of 15 grams of chocolate rations per annum. She bravely reported her own mother, uncle and 7-year-old sister to Stasi authorities after they were heard listening to the Christmas song that has been banned by the Big state. In Sector 44, Hackney, London, over 15 arrests were made on December 20th. The subjects involved were guilty of thoughtcrimes against the soviet state and supreme Comrade Starmer. They had dared to help some old age pensioners by fixing their fire places to stay warm, and burning wood. Net Zero laws deem it a criminal act to use a fireplace or wood-burning stove to keep warm. Any citizens found guilty of this terrible crime will be erased, or put into a woke re-education gulag in Grimsby.