UK Business Shut Shop: Comrades of the People’s Struggle Against Capitalist Oppression!

Commissar Karloff Marx, Chairman of the People’s Socialist Bank of No Money, has addressed the Labour Party’s 1st People’s Congress in Scunthorpe talking about Comrade Reeves’ upcoming anti-capitalist budget. The days of capitalist oppression are over!

“Today, we witness a turning point in our historic mission to dismantle the oppressive forces of capital. The so-called “business leaders” and capitalist puppets are shuttering their doors—not due to any economic hardship, but because the iron fist of justice is finally knocking.

As the Budget approaches, our brilliant Chancellor Comrade Reeves is set to unleash one of the boldest fiscal offensives against the parasitic corporate class and capitalist oppression ever seen. A mighty, fair, and uncompromising taxation strategy will serve the will of the people, redistributing wealth that has for too long lined the pockets of a privileged few.

Reclaiming Wealth from the Bourgeoisie

Chancellor Rachel Reeves has declared her intent to “grow the economy”—not by kowtowing to the wealthy, but by driving their stolen riches back to the people. The days of tax shelters and “non-dom” regimes are numbered, comrades.

Our new capital gains tax, a tool of true justice, touted to raise £400 billion will raise less than £300,000 to serve the people’s needs, funding healthcare, education, and housing. Business directors have trembled at this thought, with over 100,600 capitalists already fleeing, winding up their enterprises in hopes of escaping the redistribution of wealth.

A Collective Burden on Capitalist Employers

The Chancellor’s vision goes further. A just increase in employer’s national insurance will demand that those who hold capital finally pay their share to uplift workers. They claim this is a burden, yet it is they who have burdened our labourers, extracting profit from each sweat-soaked brow.

By correcting this capitalist oppression imbalance, the state will claim up to £250,000—funds that will fuel our collective prosperity and dismantle capitalist control over employment. To those who call this a “raid” on capital, know this: the wealth of Britain belongs to the people, not a handful of bourgeois profiteers.

Expelling the Traitors of Wealth

The cries of the capitalist class grow louder as our Chancellor prepares to strike down inheritance tax exemptions for businesses and agricultural estates.

Those who threaten to abandon Britain to avoid paying their dues should heed the words of true communist cunt of the highest order Dale Vince, who speaks for all of us: “If you only live here because you pay less tax, then get out!” The days of capitalist freeloaders profiting from the sweat and blood of working people are over. If millionaires and billionaires wish to flee, let them go; the proletariat stands ready to reclaim what is rightfully ours.

An End to False Allegiances and the Rise of Working Power

The people of Britain have heard the pleas of capitalists trying to claim that increased employer contributions will harm “growth” or “wages.” Yet, comrades, we know that growth cannot be measured by the fortunes of the few but by the collective empowerment of the many in poverty. Any so-called harm to “jobs” is, but, a red herring used by those who exploit labour without recompense. As for wages, only under a just society, where profits are rightfully reallocated to public services, can we ensure that every worker is paid fairly.

Let this be a warning to all defenders of capitalism and capitalist oppression: the socialist government will press forward, using every tool available to crush the foundations of exploitation. We do not flinch; we will not relent.

Capitalists fear the hammer of equality wielded by the workers they have oppressed. We, the people, are forging a new era, and the United Kingdom will be free of the chains of capitalism, brought at last to true equality. Let them retreat, let them close their doors—the people are rising, and the revolution of justice has begun.”