17.7 C
London
Saturday, December 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldEducation Secretary Bridget Phillipson Accepted 12 Inch Adult Toy Gifts

Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson Accepted 12 Inch Adult Toy Gifts

LONDON - England - Labour Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson accepted numerous adult toy gifts from a prominent party donor.

ai

The spotlight on erroneous gifts and hospitality received by Labour MPs has become more sinister after it was revealed in recent House of Commons records that the Secretary of State for Education, Bridget Phillipson, received numerous long and thick latex adult toys from a company that is a major donor to the party.

Phillipson admitted that she received the gifts in April, but only disclosed the information this week.

“What’s that buzzing sound?”

According to parliamentary records, the minister accepted the gifts and apparently tested them out thoroughly. One of the items is called the Purple Mamba and is over 12 inches long and vibrates with many different modes. Phillipson said that it was the “best one I’ve tried in ages” and “stretched” her abilities to the max.

It is not certain that the Labour Cabinet minister tried the gifts out on site at the House of Commons or at home. Senior Tory MPs were up in arms about the entire scenario, and one even commented about seeing Bridget Phillipson “walking funny” after leaving her office with a very “contented” look on her face.

Multiple Labour MPs, including Keir Starmer and Rachel Reeves, have been caught receiving gifts for favours totalling millions of pounds. Now Bridget Phillipson seems to be embroiled in a very sticky situation herself.

 

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

10 COMMENTS

    • Funnily enough they use long objects even tho they don’t like men. But to answer your question she is married tho that don’t mean much.

  1. I’m having a hard time imagining her using a vibro have you ever seen her speaking? It’s like a robot where her mouth moves at high speed but the rest of her face and head are dead still, even her eyes barely move. I can’t imagine her having a genuine or*asm. She probably has never had one in her life.No amount of toys would remedy that.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!