17.7 C
London
Thursday, December 12, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldPanic Buying Starts: Ports From Maine to Texas Crippled by Strikes

Panic Buying Starts: Ports From Maine to Texas Crippled by Strikes

MAINE - USA - Dockworkers across the East coast of America go on strike with severe consequences for the US economy, and American consumers,

Pretty much every commodity is shipped into US ports every day. A strike by port dockworkers who are making demands about increased automation and pay will essentially cripple the United States. It may already be too late to start stocking up right now, unless you’re a prepper, you’re most probably fucked.

In the New York City area alone, nearly 100,000 containers are waiting to be unloaded, with 35 more container ships on their way.

The first week of the strike, it will be all over the news, but mainly ignored or dismissed as baloney by the media.

The second week of the strike, the car industry will be first to suffer, as there will be no cars coming in on the ships. Car salesmen will get laid off. Car showrooms will be on the brink of going under. Many manufacturing jobs and businesses will be lost as the raw goods they rely on will not be unloaded at the ports. Crucial supply chains will be fractured, causing serious damage to companies.

The third week of the strike, malls start closing down. The cheap Chinese junk is not coming in at the docks. Can’t sell clothes, can’t sell cheap Chinese electronics, can’t sell shoes, can’t sell diapers, can’t sell toilet paper. Everything in the United States comes in on a ship. The malls and supermarkets go out of business. Construction workers get laid off because the necessary building materials aren’t coming in. The steel is not coming in, the lumber is not coming in, everyone loses their jobs. Construction companies are on the brink of going under.

The fourth week, vegetable Joe Biden finally realises something is wrong and uses Taft-Hartley to force the longshore men back to work. The dockworkers go back to work for 90 days on full pay but do the minimum amount of work, and the backlog of shipments is so large it would take over 8 months to clear. Meanwhile, the US economy is essentially crippled and countless industries that rely on daily shipments are fucked in the ass. Businesses are going down left right and centre, badda boom badda bing, employees are being let go, and the shelves in stores are empty. Jeff Bezos has an epileptic fit and is hospitalised. Stocks are tanking.

The fifth week – civil unrest. Riots and mass looting of little of what is left in the shops start across major cities. The National Guard is deployed with minimal effect. People who live pay cheque to pay cheque now have absolutely nothing left and despair sets in. More businesses that held out for this long go under. The crippling carnage continues…

It’s going to be a great Christmas with nothing in the shops or supermarkets and millions more people made redundant. As for the election? Forget about it… Moral of the story, don’t mess with dockworkers, especially if the union boss is a connected wise guy.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

  1. I never seen anything like it even my Costco is now empty. The q is round the block. PPL fighting n stuff.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!