17.7 C
London
Thursday, November 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldGenius of Mossad: Hezbollah Now Reduced to Communicating Via Donkey Couriers

Genius of Mossad: Hezbollah Now Reduced to Communicating Via Donkey Couriers

BEIRUT - Lebanon - After 1000s of pagers exploded, terrorist group Hezbollah are now reduced to other means of communications thanks to Israel's Mossad.

The Iranian backed proxy terror group Hezbollah are now using men on donkeys that can take days to relay messages as a form of communication after a genius move by Mossad with exploding pentaerythritol tetranitrate infused pagers that has caused havoc with their terrorist organisation.

The rule of thumb is don’t mess with The Israel or with Mossad, that is if you want an easier life, or any life at all.

The innovative Mossad black op was conducted by spreading the word that telegram and mobile phones were essentially compromised by Israeli intelligence. Mossad operatives then created dozens of ads for untraceable pagers in Beirut, which the Hezbollah hierarchy ate up like a shit sandwich. Three thousand AP924 pagers were acquired from a European company licenced by a Taiwanese manufacturer and crammed with the high explosive pentaerythritol tetranitrate which could be triggered at any time of choosing. Lithium batteries can also be triggered to explode in devices, but to conduct a large operation with thousands of targets would be too demanding, so Mossad infiltrated the shipment and injected PETR into each pager. “DING!” You have an important message from the Hezbollah hierarchy — “Ka-Boom!” According to reports, one Hezbollah terrorist operative in a supermarket, who needed glasses and had poor eyesight, put the pager right up to his eyes to see the message when it exploded, essentially disintegrating his entire face.

Back doors are built into most electronic devices these days, and these back doors are mandatory for manufacturers to include in the hardware production process, as well as integrated into software operating systems. Back doors can only be accessed by certain intelligence agencies, who can acquire any information they need from any global source or device. Some devices like pagers are touted as being untraceable, but as witnessed in this Mossad operation, the only thing untraceable now are the faces of some of the Hezbollah terrorists.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

4 COMMENTS

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!