17.7 C
London
Wednesday, September 18, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldFrench Navy: Pensioners Caught Trying to Flee Labour's Britain in a Boat

French Navy: Pensioners Caught Trying to Flee Labour’s Britain in a Boat

COLLEVILLE SUR MER - France - The French Navy rescued a boat load of pensioners trying to flee Labour's Britain.

Admiral Gaston Trou du Cul, of the French Navy, revealed that the little rubber boat was overflowing with pensioners just off the coast of Normandy, and one gentleman even lost his false teeth to the sea, but it could have been a lot worse. The pensioners were attempting to flee Labour’s Britain after their winter fuel payments and pensions were robbed by the evil Labour Party.

Alfie Norbert, 87, from Croydon, South London, was one of the pensioners rescued off the coast of Normandy.

alfie norbert croydon pensioner
Alfie Norbert, 87, was back at home in Croydon on Tuesday.

“It’s a shame it had to come to this, but we honestly had no option. Labour is punishing pensioners and robbing us of the little we got. It’s a bloomin’ disgrace after what we’ve done for this country. It was a nice day trip though, I felt like our boys on Operation Overlord on D-Day June the 6th 1944, except there weren’t any Jerries on the beach shooting at us, but boats full of asylum seekers leaving for Britain. I told one boy from Albania in a boat good luck mate, at least you’re young and foreign innit, and you’ll be treated like a king, in the UK they treat old English people like utter shite!”

Never Give Up

The failed attempt did not deter the pensioners, and they vow they will keep trying to flee Labour’s Britain and if they die trying, so be it.

Valerie Bertram, 93, a widower from Doncaster, stated that life is “unbearable” in Labour Britain.

“In all my years, I’ve never seen it this bad. The constantly rising Council Tax, they’re going to take away the single person discount as well. Labour is also thinking about taking our bus passes away, and they’re taxing our pensions, and removed our winter fuel payment. Why don’t they just come around our houses and grotty flats and shoot us in the head. It would be quicker and easier that way!”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!