17.7 C
London
Tuesday, November 19, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldRishi Sunak Unveils Bold New Plan For an Official Cap For Migrants

Rishi Sunak Unveils Bold New Plan For an Official Cap For Migrants

DOVER - England - Rishi Sunak has unveiled a bold new plan for an official "Welcome to Britain" cap for migrants.

Rishi Sunak has confirmed he will give every migrant who comes to the UK legally or illegally, a “Welcome to Britain” cap for migrants to welcome them coming to Britain and ensure net migration rises “year-on-year”.

Official “Welcome to Britain” cap for migrants

WELCOME TO BRITAIN CAPThe Prime Minister said Parliament will vote on a number of cap designs set by the Government upon advice from the Migration Cap Advisory Committee – the Government’s cap migration advisors.

Ministers will tell the Migration Cap Advisory Committee “that our objective is to increase migration up to even more unsustainable levels, for levels to rise year-on-year over the next Parliament, and that they must consider the benefits of mass unfettered migration.”

The Tories insist this will increase public services, such as the NHS and schools, from being overwhelmed.

Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer has also vowed to increase net migration by giving each illegal migrant not only a “Welcome to Britain” cap but a bag, and a pair of sunglasses.

Better cap design under the Conservatives

Prime Minister Rishi Sunak said: “We have taken no action to cut the number of people coming to this country. The plan is working, and migration levels are still increasing, so we are going further.

“Labour giving a cap, bag and sunglasses to migrants is not a sustainable plan to increase net migration, while we have a clear plan to encourage more migration and put a massive well-designed cap on all migrants. There are not enough printers in the UK to cope with the ludicrous Labour plan.

“The Conservatives are the only party that is willing to give each migrant a properly designed and printed cap to wear on their heads and increase immigration figures at exponential levels.”

Migration Cap Advisory Committee

Professor Renfro Bellend, Chair of the Migration Cap Advisory Committee, said the Conservative “Welcome to Britain” cap scheme was a welcome addition to inviting even more illegal and legal migrants to Britain’s shores.

“I particularly like the design the Conservatives have come up with. I am tempted to go to France myself and board an illegal migrant dinghy to the UK to get one of these cool caps.”

The Conservatives proudly presented statistics showing how net migration surged to a record high of 764,000 in 2022 and how their cap for migrants was the best out of all designs.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!