World

Britain to House Entire Continents of Africa, Asia and South America

LONDON - England - The entire population of the Third World is to be housed by the UK.

Because so many billions of people want to come to Britain to live and receive benefits plus use the NHS, the government is planning to build vast skyscraper buildings across the country holding millions of people.

Each skyscraper will hold over 800 million people from Third World countries, and will reach above the clouds in height. The skyscrapers will measure 15 miles wide, and will also have a portion of the building underground to a depth of 1,000 metres.

“We envisage every single space in the UK taken up by these behemoth skyscrapers, housing the people who enter the country illegally. Britain will not have a countryside anymore as every previously protected green space is permanently concreted over. The babbling brooks, rivers, forests and meadows of Britain will be bulldozed and filled with these concrete monstrosities,” one of the planners for the new scheme revealed to a parliamentary committee today.

The entire population of Asia, South America, Africa and Middle East accounts to approximately 7.4 billion people who all want to come to the UK.

The NHS will have to service an extra 7.4 billion people per annum, and the government proposes an increase of funding by 15% however many dispute this as a ridiculously low amount to fund the free health service with such high numbers of immediate population growth on the tiny island of Britain.

The population of Britain is currently 67.3 million, and to accommodate the massive influx of population, all Britons will be taxed 100% of their income, and have all bank deposits and assets seized by the government. Even then, only 12% of the new influx of 7.4 billion people will be able to be catered for regarding benefits, NHS, schooling, and housing.

The government on Wednesday was silent when reporters asked about how the rest of the people arriving in the UK will be funded.

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