World

Channel Migrant Crisis: “Rosbifs Give Us More Money Merci Beaucoup!”

PARIS - France - The French have thanked the British for increasing payments so that more migrants can cross the Channel to Britain.

Britain and France have signed another £65 million deal to supposedly curb the surge of Albanian mafia gangs boating across the Channel daily. Official figures show more than 40,000 people made the deadly crossing so far this year – up from 28,526 in 2021. Unofficial figures estimate the number of Albanians to have crossed into Britain to be more than 85,000 in 2022 alone.

“Honh, honh, honh! Les stupides rosbifs must be vraiment stupides et naïfs. Ils vont nous donner £65 millions to supposedly arrêter les migrants illégaux traversant la Manche dans leurs petits bateaux. Merci beaucoup Rosbifs. We will simplement keep votre argent et spend it en caviar, champagne et voitures chères. C’est la même chose chaque année. Les idiots n’apprennent jamais,” an official at Calais remarked on Monday.

The expanded agreement includes an increase in payments from London to Paris and nothing much else in particular.

“We are hoping that giving the French more money will actually do something,” an idiot from the UK government tentatively remarked on the stupid rip-off deal.

Meanwhile, in Albania, one of the poorest crime-ridden countries in the world, entire cities and towns are now empty. Guess where they all went?

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