Elon Musk to Move Twitter HQ to Mars

HESPERIA PLANUM - Mars - Billionaire Elon Musk, fed up with trivialities like blue check marks, is now planning to move the Twitter HQ to the red planet.

After acquiring the troubled social network Twitter for an overvalued cool $44 billion, space mogul Elon Musk is now planning a move for the company’s headquarters to the planet Mars. This rather drastic move to a planet 87.914 million km from Earth will be quite a challenge for the Twitter CEO.

“Well, it was a toss up actually with Uranus and a few other places, but hey why not Mars? I have so much money, I can do what I fuckin’ want,” the billionaire said from the SpaceX launch zone in Arizona.

Twitter staff will be put on a one-way space journey to Mars, where the Twitter headquarters will be based, Elon Musk’s SpaceX announced today.

Out of sight out of mind

For those remaining back on the planet Earth, once the tweety bird flies, communications will be limited.

“If you send a Tweet from Mars, it will reach Earth in about 5 to 20 minutes depending on planet positions, however communications can also be delayed by the numerous dust storms on the Martian surface,” a SpaceX Twitter scientist revealed.

“See You At The Party, Richter.”

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