17.7 C
London
Thursday, November 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldMan Fried Alive On Hottest Day Ever in Britain

Man Fried Alive On Hottest Day Ever in Britain

LONDON - England - A man who fried to death on the hottest day recorded in the country may not be identified say police.

One of the worst casualties to hit on the hottest day ever recorded in Britain at 45 degrees Celsius, a man was fried alive whilst standing on a metal manhole cover in Piccadilly Circus at midday.

Shocked passers-by who saw the live frying session were said to be receiving counselling, in the shade.

“I had a large ice cream in my hand and was about to eat it when I heard this sizzling sound. You know, like bacon in a frying pan. He was standing on a grate or something and the heat must have been very high. I was going to have a fry up later, but sort of put off it now,” Annie Rasher, 22, from Hull revealed in the Evening Standard.

Another bystander recalled the incident: “He was decked out with some serious oil over his body. Guess he thought he would show off his pecs as he was shirtless. When I heard the frying sound, and smelled burning, I looked around to see the poor blighter frying like a saveloy sausage in me local chippy. ‘Scuse me mate, a bit of bile came up.”

The ashes of the man were taken to St Thomas’ hospital, where police forensics experts will try to identify the unfortunate man.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!