World

Queen’s Speech Without the Queen

LONDON - England - This year's Queen's speech funnily enough does not involve the Queen in any shape or form attending parliament.

Alas, Her Majesty the Queen was nowhere to be seen today during the Queen’s speech at parliament. Traditionally, the Queen is usually present at her own speeches, but this time around conducted the speech whilst not being present.

“The Queen’s speech without the Queen’s speech was instead conducted by her son and heir to the throne Prince Charles, therefore he took it upon himself to convey the Queen’s speech in the absence of Her Majesty’s presence,” a footman kindly explained.

Where is the Queen?

According to official circles, Lizzy is rather poorly, and at the astounding age of 96 she can certainly be excused from missing a few speeches here or there.

Prince Charles brought his wonderful wife Camilla along for the ride (snort), along with his son William.

Amongst the pomp and ceremony and tradition of the state opening of parliament there was much shouting, stomping around in pseudo-masonic garb, bell ringing and hitting doors with staffs. In other words, just the usual shit, but without the Queen.

Regarding the content of this year’s speech; just some more empty words and promises that will probably never be fulfilled. Levelling up and more keywords for news presenters to parrot amongst the other sound bite nonsense they babble about constantly.

Luckily, Prince Harry and Meghan along with a vast Netflix camera crew were nowhere near the area as the ceremony took place.

Let us hope we see Her Majesty fit and healthy at the ceremony next year.

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