17.7 C
London
Thursday, November 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldPutin Honours Troops in Bucha Massacre of Unarmed Ukrainian Civilians

Putin Honours Troops in Bucha Massacre of Unarmed Ukrainian Civilians

MOSCOW - Russia - President Vladimir Putin has praised the troops and commander who committed unspeakable genocidal atrocities on unarmed civilians in Bucha, Ukraine.

Praising the genocidal actions of Lt Colonel Azatbek Omurbekov otherwise known as the Butcher of Bucha and his troops, Vladimir Putin awarded the highest Russian military honours to the killers.

“Your bravery in carrying out my orders to murder in cold blood innocent unarmed civilians in their thousands is unrivalled. Even the SS in World War II would be proud of your murderous merciless actions, as I am today. Naturally, we will deny everything that happened in Bucha, one of many places in Ukraine which we have completely decimated and committed atrocities that go beyond any Geneva Convention. Russia does not recognise any of that Geneva Convention bullshit anyway.

“Our brave Russian soldiers showed their true selves by tying the hands of civilians behind their backs, then executing them in cold blood. We have real soldiers in Russia who will commit blatant atrocities on women, children, men and anything that moves. Thank you for your butchery. Mother Russia is now bathed in the blood of innocents. I would also like to take this moment to deny that any Russian was involved in the downing of the MH17 passenger jet in 2014 and that I did not give the direct order to blow it up, killing hundreds of innocent passengers. On that note, nothing I have said today is true, and you did not hear any sound emanating from my moving mouth. Go back to sleep, Russians. You will follow blindly and without question, or I will order my operatives to come to your home in the middle of the night to take you away to be liquidated. Thank you.”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!