Poor Boris! He’s Down For the Count

LONDON - England - It's one thing after another with poor old Boris. Feel sorry for him or hate him, he's got his work cut out.

After a series of mishaps, Boris Johnson is down for the count. As is the case in most political careers, there comes a time when one’s luck runs out, and it seems Boris’ mojo has long since departed to better climes.

We like Boris at the Squib, always will, always have, but the amount of shit that has been thrown at this guy is truly astonishing. Okay, some of the misfortune is his own making, but there have been some wildcards of bad luck sent his way. Chief of all is the Covid nightmare, then there’s Biden who hates the Brits, as well as his old mate Cummings and of course Sunak and other assorted vipers waiting in the wings to plunge their knives firmly in his back.

Led on by his new young power crazy wife, Boris has basically parroted every single one of her demands, and after siring two sprogs by Carrie, is now for the moment tied down with this woman. Because of his weakness, he has followed bad advice, watching his previously good reputation and good luck flushed down the toilet.

So, what the fuck is Boris to do now? His Brexit minister has quit, and do you blame the fellow? Brexit in the mind of Boris is an all too distant memory, when in reality it is an ongoing concern, especially with the vindictive EU intent on revenge.

Maybe shutting down the country again will avert some of this mess, however the mess is so vast it may take more than that, plus the Tory rebels will want blood for sure.

There is an even worse threat to Britain and Brexit now rearing its ugly head once more, and that is the war criminal Tony Blair, who will completely eviscerate Britain once and for all if he comes back into the position of Labour leader.

Prepare for war, perhaps, because war is always the great equaliser. The only thing that can save Boris right now is a Maggie Thatcher Falklands moment. War, then a firm British victory would absolve Boris of any previous animosity, as well as seal his image in the history books.

Get the Generals searching for a war Boris, something relatively easy to win yet with a decent newsworthy profile. It’s either that or bow out with your head firmly dipped in disgrace.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: boristories

Recent Posts

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

6 hours ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

8 hours ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

22 hours ago

Prince Harry Consults Elon Musk About Travelling to Mars

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry is in consultation with Elon Musk about travelling to…

1 day ago

Comrade Xi Jinping Commends Comrade Starmer on Soviet Britain’s Communist Vision

RIO DE JANAIRO - Brazil - Comrade Xi Jinping has praised Comrade Starmer for crushing…

2 days ago

Support the Farmers and Their Protest Against Unjust Labour Tax

LONDON - England - Farmers are in Westminster today protesting an unjust Labour tax that…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.