Ed Miliband Vows to Take Over Daily Mail Once Labour In Power

LONDON - England - The Labour leader today has vowed to use public funds to buy out the Daily Mail newspaper once Labour regains public office.

“Just as Pravda was the voice of the Soviet Union so too will the Daily Mail, which will only publish articles that serve the British Soviet agenda once I am installed into power. I have already spoken with the Central Committee of the Labour Party and have drafted a three-year-plan for the implementation of state subsidization for the Daily Mail. We have already planned a price of 15 Soviet pennies for each publication to keep the cost low and so that every citizen in Soviet Britain can read my words and thus be indoctrinated by me. As for the journalists who populate the Daily Mail today, you will be thrown into the streets and driven to the gallows to be hanged for treason against the state and Labour party. Your days are numbered, so start counting now.”

Senior Labour Party Apparatchik, Ed Balls will also head the Council of Commissars who will be in charge of regulating the Daily Mail’s content output and will also be in charge of installing only approved journalists of the state to the newspaper.

The Daily Mailski under Labour rule will disseminate Agitprop information and Soviet matters to the workers regarding the Ed Miliband 10-year-collectivisation plan as well as announce monthly ration portions and news of recent hangings.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Comrades, We Wish 760,000 Pensioners a Merry Freezing Christmas Death

GRIMSBY - England - The People's Soviet Republic of Britain and Labour Party are hoping…

10 hours ago

Beyond Satire: ‘Anti-Islamist’ Saudi Ploughs Car Through German Christmas Market

MAGDEBURG - Germany - Another beyond satire moment where an Arab migrant doctor who claims…

2 days ago

Lord Mandy Sent By Starmer to Washington to Thwart Trump

LONDON - England - Lord Mandy is being sent by Starmer to Washington to keep…

3 days ago

COVER-UP: Daily Squib Knew Biden Was Senile and Unfit Before 2020

LONDON - England - What the mainstream media is reporting today, the Daily Squib knew…

3 days ago

Why Eco and Green Groups Are Silent Over Labour Plans to Bulldoze Protected Countryside

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - It is rather funny that the eco and green groups…

4 days ago

Pensioners Are Freezing This Christmas Thanks to Starmer and Reeves

SCUNTHORPE - England - The evil Labour Party and Keir Starmer are laughing with glee…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.