17.7 C
London
Sunday, December 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldRyanair Customers to be Mugged at Check-In

Ryanair Customers to be Mugged at Check-In

LUTON - England - Airline staff working for budget airline Ryanair have been ordered to physically mug passengers before boarding their flights, it has been reported.

ai

Ryanair staff have been told to increase the company’s profits by mugging passengers at the check-in desks prior to boarding their flights.

“We already mug them when they book their flights with excessive charges but we have been ordered to go a step further by mugging the bastards physically by nicking their hand luggage or going into their pockets to steal their gadgets,” Elaine O’Riordan, a Ryanair worker told the BBC.

Passengers have already complained about the muggings, but were simply told to “shut it, or we’ll throw you off the fu**ing plane” by bully Ryanair workers.

Doreen Elsingham, from Watford was travelling to Benidorm on a two week package holiday last week; and when she went to the flight check-in, she was told to hand over her i-pod, i-pad, smartphone and a box of Swiss chocolate she was taking to her 90-year-old grandmother or get a smack in the face.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
ds-freedom-expression-banner

4 COMMENTS

  1. Worst airline ever we flew to Palma from eastmidlands they took the wrong boarding pass onway there so I flew there with wrong boarding card witch was not checked at airport then at Palma on way home with are 2 year old was told I had to pay 70 euros to get a new 1 witch we did not have when I said it was there fault and that we had a young child with us the 2 lady’s at the Ryanair customer service desk in Palma was laughing at us with her friend thought it funny I had to about beg people to change some English money for me and Lucky for us a very nice lady behind changed it for me so we could get home and still they thought it was funny will never use Ryanair again they are the worst airline ever scammers horrible staff there boss should be ashamed the way they treat a paying family on holiday my friend just flew with klm lost his boarding pass they just printed him a new 1 FOR FREE and said enjoy your flight now that’s service Ryanair watch and learn you bunch of hustlers who are out to get as much as they can out you beware pay a little more and be treated good

  2. If this had really happened I think RYANAIR (My favorite Airline) would be shut down with no hesitation, the cabin crew on FR6626 from eninburgh to Lanzarote were very kind and because of my FLY RYANAIR T-shirt I made I got a seat in the cockpit. Was I just luck or what?

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!