17.7 C
London
Thursday, November 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldEnjoy the Rolling Hills of the English Countryside While You Still Can

Enjoy the Rolling Hills of the English Countryside While You Still Can

WEST SUSSEX - England - Now's the time to enjoy the beautiful rolling hills of the English countryside because in a few years it will not be there any more.

The ancient lanes trodden by centuries of Britons, the stone walls extending over the lush green fields and assortment of trees that have seen Britain’s astoundingly rich history, they will all be flattened, as will the thousand year churches and tiny hamlets.

When the bulldozers come they will dig the fields and lay down concrete for the affordable housing schemes required to house EU and Third World immigration as well as shale gas fracking workers. The educated and professional EU residents stay in their countries, we only get the detritous, and thus our countryside will bear the brunt of Britain being in the EU. You cannot fight progress the politicians will say, but nothing can justify what they plan to do to the countryside just so that Britain can stay in the EU.

“These country lanes buzzing with bees and wildlife, the dark satanic mills and rolling hills and babbling brooks will not be needed any more. There will be soviet-era style apartment blocks put here to accommodate the massive influx of poor former soviet bloc immigrants now in the EU who will invariably have more children and breed by the dozen. As Britain’s ageing original inhabitants die off, they will be replaced by the only people breeding these days, the immigrants and uneducated white benefits families,” social historian, Giles Brandbreth, told the Daily Mail.

A government spokesman said: “We need to build social housing schemes not only for the millions of EU immigrants we are hosting but for their children as well. This is why it is imperative that we accelerate the fracking shale gas operations because energy will be needed for the millions of extra families. As for the NHS and free schooling Britons have enjoyed for the best part of half a century, you can kiss that goodbye because the 29 million extra Bulgarians and Romanians who will be coming here in 2014 will destroy the already crumbling stretched welfare system once and for all. Visiting your local GP will cost you an arm and a leg, literally. So don’t forget, we’ll be increasing taxes so you can pay for all these enhancements.”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

2 COMMENTS

  1. caught the Black Sabbath reference "dark satanic mills" (cover of the album) say, where does Ozzy fit into all this? can he scare off the foreigners?

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!