John Prescott Stops Pie Lorry In Middle of Road

HULL - England - Former Labour Deputy Prime Minister, John 'Two Jags' Prescott, was involved in a major traffic incident yesterday, near his home.

The 75-year-old, whose appetite for pork pies is renowned across England, was travelling in one of his Jaguars when witnesses say the car skidded to an abrupt stop in front of a 12-tonne lorry carrying pork pies to a local superstore.

“He had a crazed look in his eyes as he ran towards the truck with spittle streaming from his chomping mouth. I at once thought of a deranged zombie from some god awful film,” a freaked out witness told the BBC.

The scared lorry driver immediately got out of his cab and ran away in terror abandoning his truck and its glorious contents.

Mavis Belridge, 84, was driving her Nissan Micra and witnessed Prescott ransacking the lorry of its contents.

“I had just been to visit the local church fête and was on my way back, when I managed to look over the steering wheel to see a burly man sitting in the middle of the road devouring pork pies like there was no tomorrow. I can still see the look in his eyes, it was awful.”

Many bystanders who witnessed the unholy event have received counselling. Mr Prescott was not available for comment today as he was attending a croquet championship in his own back garden.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

WW3 WATCH: Why is Russia Mass Producing Nuclear Shelters?

MOSCOW - Russia - The Kremlin has ordered the mass production of nuclear shelters throughout…

8 hours ago

EXPERTS: “Net Zero” is Impossible to Achieve Unless…

LONDON - England - The Earthwise think tank has outlined why it is futile for…

10 hours ago

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

20 hours ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

1 day ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

1 day ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.