Royal Baby to be Given Own Cot Palace

LONDON - England - Prince William and the Duchess's new baby will be given its own palace, royal insiders have revealed.

“You’d think no one had ever had a baby or something, but ay there’s the rub, this one is supposedly royal. He or she is getting its own cot palace thingy, whatever that is?” a commoner from the streets of London revealed.

With 24/7 royal baby news coverage at the moment how come something of this magnitude has slipped the net?

The royal baby’s cot palace will be equipped with a solid gold nappy changing table resplendent with a diamond encrusted nappy pot where the royal poop will be interred, then discarded by one of the four hundred staff on hand. The Italian marble floors of the play pen were delivered from a quarry somewhere in Naples, and the mother of pearl high chair has a big 40,000 karat diamond on the top of it. Maybe something to play with when dribbling.

“The royal baby’s quarters will still be within Kensington palace’s grounds but some say it is actually more architecturally grandiose than the rather bland Kensington palace itself. Prince Charles himself studied the plans and approved of the design, so that’s definitely a seal of approval,” Charles Butterworth, a royal spokesman revealed to the BBC today.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share

Recent Posts

WW3 WATCH: Why is Russia Mass Producing Nuclear Shelters?

MOSCOW - Russia - The Kremlin has ordered the mass production of nuclear shelters throughout…

6 hours ago

EXPERTS: “Net Zero” is Impossible to Achieve Unless…

LONDON - England - The Earthwise think tank has outlined why it is futile for…

8 hours ago

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

17 hours ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

1 day ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

1 day ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.