Tories to Leave Note to Next Labour Government Saying ‘Here’s the Money Spend It’

“Labour spent everything, we’re currently trying to fix their mess, so we’re going to leave them a kind letter stating that we clawed back some money in the Treasury and they can spend it all again on their tin pot socialist projects and cronyistic spendthrift ways,” the Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne revealed.

The Tory letter will be left in one of the Treasury drawers and there will also be a blank cheque of taxpayers money to spend on foreign holidays, pork pies (if two jags Prescott is reinstated) as well as tonnes of cash for 47 inch 3D TVs for every long-term unemployed person in the UK.

Shadow Chancellor, Ed Balls said: “We can’t wait. When we come into power in 2015 we will continue our goal to bankrupt Britain even further.”