EU Orders Britain to Scrap ‘Singapore on Thames’ Plan

BRUSSELS - Belgium - The EU has issued a stern ultimatum to Boris Johnson threatening the Prime Minister with continuous post-Brexit border chaos unless he drops his plans to transform the UK into the "Singapore on Thames"

Brussels is threatening the UK with relentless post-Brexit chaos unless the Prime Minister abandons his plan to slash taxes and increase business whilst reducing the ridiculous amount of red tape the EU puts on everything. The Singapore-on-Thames plan would bring vast riches to Britain but make the EU look bad.

Unelected European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen THREATENED Boris directly: “You vill follow our orders Englander! You see mein Pickelhaube, vell it has ein very sharpen point!”

She added: “Ve do not want you Britisher Schweinhunds to be successful outside ze EU. Zis is prohibited because other imprisoned EU nations may see your success and follow you out.

“Unless you stoppen zie your Singapore on the Thames plannen, ve vill continue to disrupt your food shipments. No more hummus or German schnitzel for you English just einen das Backpfeifengesicht across your Englander faces!”

“Over here in Greater Germany, oops I mean ze EU, ve haff a lot of Erbenzählers, so we see everything you do meticulously. Jah? Ze Trade unt Co-operation Agreement vill haff to be looked at again, where iss mein monocle?” von der Leyen continued.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

6 hours ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

16 hours ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

18 hours ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

1 day ago

Prince Harry Consults Elon Musk About Travelling to Mars

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry is in consultation with Elon Musk about travelling to…

2 days ago

Comrade Xi Jinping Commends Comrade Starmer on Soviet Britain’s Communist Vision

RIO DE JANAIRO - Brazil - Comrade Xi Jinping has praised Comrade Starmer for crushing…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.