New Pope Wants Catholic Church to Invade Falklands

VATICAN CITY - Italy - The new Argentinian pope has vowed to invade the Falkland Isles some time next week, papal sources have revealed.

“We will mobilise the Catholic church and invade the Falkland Islands. Once we throw the Brits out and their stupid referendum, we will build a miniature copy of St Paul’s Basilica there and put an Argie flag on top of it,” pope Jorge Bergoglio, aka Francis I, told the crowd awaiting his first appearance as pope, Wednesday.

The new pope has spoken of his desire to bring honour to his homeland of Argentina once and for all.

Argentine president, Cristina Kirchner was very happy at the news of the Argentinian pope and celebrated by getting more botox into her swollen rubber lips.

“blabber blibber blubber,” she said to a TV audience from her Buenos Aires presidential mansion.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: uk

Recent Posts

WW3 WATCH: Why is Russia Mass Producing Nuclear Shelters?

MOSCOW - Russia - The Kremlin has ordered the mass production of nuclear shelters throughout…

4 hours ago

EXPERTS: “Net Zero” is Impossible to Achieve Unless…

LONDON - England - The Earthwise think tank has outlined why it is futile for…

5 hours ago

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

15 hours ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

1 day ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

1 day ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.