Bankrupt Argentina Wants to Move Whole Country to Falklands For UK Benefits Culture

BUENOS AIRES - Argentina - It has finally been revealed what Cristina Kirchner, the Argentine leader is planning to do in the next few months.

By Casper Panklehurst

February 7, 2013

/falklands_340433599.jpg — "We want to get on UK benefits system" a group of starving Argentinians say.

“We heard the UK has got a great benefits culture because everyone from the world goes there to get free money, healthcare and schooling. We want the same because in Argentina we are bankrupt. This is why my friends, we are all going to move to Falkland Islands and then we can have same thing British people have,” Carlos Jakalloa, an unemployed Argentine man from the capital city told local news outlets.

Cristina Kirchner says that at some stage, thousands of ships will embark from the coast and sail to the Falkland Isles where the millions of Argentinians will disembark and start building their homes.

“Viva llas Malvina we are all moving there so that we can live on benefits system from the UK. I want 56 inch plasma screen, playstation and all my booze and ciggies paid for, innit,” Rodriguez Domingo, another unemployed Argentinian revealed.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

4 COMMENTS

mr bomb argis June 23, 2013 At 00:41

we dont need ships hahahahah we have trident hhaha
Phil February 9, 2013 At 20:38

JAJAJAJAJJA it is hilarious at Argies getting angry at a FAKE news story which everyone knows is a joke… And SHOUTING as well LOL JAJAJAJAJAJAJ.. you got no sense of humour ! This paper is a SPOOF .. No wonder the Falklanders want nothing to do with you, miserable people.
GO TO HELL ENGLISHITT February 8, 2013 At 10:51

MALVINA ARGENTINA TERRITORY WE WILL TAKE BACK SOON ! BRIT NOT HAVE AIR CARRIER OR SHIPS LEFT AND FRANCE WILL NOT LED YOU ONE HUH?!?!?!?!?!? YOU LOSE NEXT WAR ENGLISHITS!!!!!!!! WAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! FUCK TO YOU!!!
Matt February 7, 2013 At 23:01

Was it necessary to invent a story to feed the ego British? Besides…Argentina Bunkrupt was in 2001…12 years ago….