World

Ninjas Have No Trouble About Wearing Face Masks

LONDON - England - According to the secretive clan of ninjas operating undercover as assassins, wearing masks is absolutely no problem during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Clambering over a roof in the deep of the night, this ninja is on a mission, and dressed in full Ninjutsu attire including a mask, he is also somewhat protected from contracting the airborne virus, Covid-19, that seems to be bothering everyone of late. Ninjas have been wearing masks for centuries.

“I have no problems with wearing a mask, it’s part of my job as a hired ninja assassin. I just completed my most recent mission of dispatching a businessman on the hit list. I snuck into his office whilst he was surrounded by eight bodyguards, and a retinue of security men. The place was full of cameras yet there was no trace of my presence. The job was easy, I just used a blow gun with a miniscule dart that infused a poison into the target. He flopped down on his desk face first, and by the time the hired thugs were looking for me, I was well gone, over the rooftops.”

Ninjutsu, or Bujinkan is not a martial art but a way of life for many, and the deadly techniques of ninjutsu are usually taught in secrecy by clans that mask their identity.

The Bansenshukai

“We don’t officially exist, and we operate in absolute secrecy. We actually think it’s great that everyone has to wear a mask these days because it makes our lives easier. We can operate in plain sight without any suspicion, and the many cameras around are not effective any more,” the ninja revealed.

Ninjutsu was developed as a collection of fundamental survivalist techniques in the warring state of feudal Japan mainly during the Genpei war and the Kenmu Restoration from 1180 – 1336. The sect that developed from the samurai has been operating ever since in utmost secrecy.

Ninjas use their art to ensure their survival in times of violent political turmoil and sometimes as hired assassins for clandestine agencies working way below the radar.

Ninjutsu includes methods of gathering information and techniques of non-detection, avoidance, and misdirection.

Ninjutsu involves training in freerunning (Parkour, in today’s lingo), disguise, escape, concealment, archery, and medicine. Skills relating to espionage and assassination were highly useful to warring factions in feudal Japan and are still useful today.

The highly developed skill of espionage has become known collectively as ninjutsu, and the people who specialise in these tasks are called shinobi no mono.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

WW3 WATCH: Why is Russia Mass Producing Nuclear Shelters?

MOSCOW - Russia - The Kremlin has ordered the mass production of nuclear shelters throughout…

5 hours ago

EXPERTS: “Net Zero” is Impossible to Achieve Unless…

LONDON - England - The Earthwise think tank has outlined why it is futile for…

7 hours ago

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

16 hours ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

1 day ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

1 day ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.