Armed Priests in Massive U.S. Church Shoot-out

CALABASAS - USA - Fifteen heavily armed priests from two neighbouring churches in a small town have been involved in a massive shoot out lasting for over five hours and involving over thirty police officers.

The two evangelical churches have been involved in a religious dispute for four years and it finally culminated in a huge gunfight yesterday lasting over five hours and involving thirty officers from the Californian town’s police department.

Residents of the El Encanto area said they saw flashes of muzzles going off and priests in their outfits running and shooting wildly at each other.

“In the name of Jesus, can’t these people stop the shooting for a few minutes already? I need to get to work,” Al Gomez, a janitor at the local High School told local news.

Half way through the shooting, police cars arrived at the scene and tried to stop the two church factions but were instead embroiled in even more gunplay.

Officer Bill Jenkem told WKRTC news: “We eventually stopped the shooting when someone got a model of the Virgin Mary and started walking with it around the church. The priests put their automatic weapons down and started praying to the statue.”

American churches are heavily armed places with one church in Texas even having a 50 calibre anti-aircraft gun emplacement in the car park.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share

Recent Posts

Beyond Satire: ‘Anti-Islamist’ Saudi Ploughs Car Through German Christmas Market

MAGDEBURG - Germany - Another beyond satire moment where an Arab migrant doctor who claims…

1 day ago

Lord Mandy Sent By Starmer to Washington to Thwart Trump

LONDON - England - Lord Mandy is being sent by Starmer to Washington to keep…

2 days ago

COVER-UP: Daily Squib Knew Biden Was Senile and Unfit Before 2020

LONDON - England - What the mainstream media is reporting today, the Daily Squib knew…

2 days ago

Why Eco and Green Groups Are Silent Over Labour Plans to Bulldoze Protected Countryside

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - It is rather funny that the eco and green groups…

3 days ago

Pensioners Are Freezing This Christmas Thanks to Starmer and Reeves

SCUNTHORPE - England - The evil Labour Party and Keir Starmer are laughing with glee…

4 days ago

Sleazy Labour Liars Prove Election Promises Do Not Mean Anything in UK

LONDON - England - The sleazy Labour liars who said anything to get elected have…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.