17.7 C
London
Saturday, November 23, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldChildren Told to Disarm American Gun Owners

Children Told to Disarm American Gun Owners

WASHINGTON DC - USA - President Barack Obama has told all of America's children to disarm every adult in the United States, a report released yesterday revealed.

All children from the age of 3-18 will be required by the new Obama ‘Kid Take that Adult Gun Away’ directive to first inform the adult that shooting is a bad thing, then tell the adult to drop the gun or guns on the floor. When the adult complies, he will then be told he is a good citizen and an Obama supervisor will be on scene to remove the firearms permanently and give the adult a gift voucher for approximately 40-60 dollars.

Obama knows that the children are the key to disarming American citizens. By using the kids, he’s getting to the very primal nature of adulthood. You want to do best for your kid, and when the child tells you to “put the gun down for me” you do it.

The kids who successfully disarm the adults will be all rewarded with a presidential letter of thanks directly from the White House and a box of candy.

“Uncle Obama said I could do good so I told my pa to put the AR-15 down and he did. Now I gots me a reward and some candy,” Kris Booney, 12, from Montana told CNN.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!