Mayan Apocalypse Could Happen Next Tuesday Say Experts

OAXACA - Mexico - Archaeological experts and anthropologists have come up with a new doomsday date for the Mayan apocalypse, which is considerably earlier than the previous date given.

“This new date is supported by factual evidence gleaned from an archaeological dig along the Northern straits of the Central Valleys region in Oaxaca, Mexico. We found a tomb dating back to 1424, and it includes an addendum to the previous Mayan apocalypse calendar. We think that the people who made the initial calculation had to go back to the drawing room and come up with another date for doomsday because they discovered further constellations in the sky. The Mayans were a very advanced race of people and utilised the planetary movements in the sky to divulge what would happen in the future,” one of the archeologists, Samuel Draco, told Reuters.

Conspiracy theorists all over the internet are now talking about the coming apocalypses and preparing for the end.

“We could have two apocalypses, which ever it is I got me some beans and tins of soup. If everything is destroyed twice over, then I can at least have those things huh,” Tony Matterhorn, a survivalist from Detroit, Michigan told ABC news.

Some experts have doubted the new findings and think that the Mayan apocalypse could happen three hours after New Year’s eve EST.

“We believe that Draco’s team have got it wrong completely, and our charts suggest another time for the apocalypse. Give or take a few minutes, we will soon find out when the end of the world happens to us all,” Dan Blanchard, a researcher from Boston, Massachusetts, MIT told the Boston Times.

Either way, there are going to be a lot of severely disappointed people soon.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

EXPERTS: “Net Zero” is Impossible to Achieve Unless…

LONDON - England - The Earthwise think tank has outlined why it is futile for…

1 hour ago

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

11 hours ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

21 hours ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

23 hours ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

2 days ago

Prince Harry Consults Elon Musk About Travelling to Mars

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry is in consultation with Elon Musk about travelling to…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.