17.7 C
London
Sunday, December 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldMayan Apocalypse Could Happen Next Tuesday Say Experts

Mayan Apocalypse Could Happen Next Tuesday Say Experts

OAXACA - Mexico - Archaeological experts and anthropologists have come up with a new doomsday date for the Mayan apocalypse, which is considerably earlier than the previous date given.

ai

“This new date is supported by factual evidence gleaned from an archaeological dig along the Northern straits of the Central Valleys region in Oaxaca, Mexico. We found a tomb dating back to 1424, and it includes an addendum to the previous Mayan apocalypse calendar. We think that the people who made the initial calculation had to go back to the drawing room and come up with another date for doomsday because they discovered further constellations in the sky. The Mayans were a very advanced race of people and utilised the planetary movements in the sky to divulge what would happen in the future,” one of the archeologists, Samuel Draco, told Reuters.

Conspiracy theorists all over the internet are now talking about the coming apocalypses and preparing for the end.

“We could have two apocalypses, which ever it is I got me some beans and tins of soup. If everything is destroyed twice over, then I can at least have those things huh,” Tony Matterhorn, a survivalist from Detroit, Michigan told ABC news.

Some experts have doubted the new findings and think that the Mayan apocalypse could happen three hours after New Year’s eve EST.

“We believe that Draco’s team have got it wrong completely, and our charts suggest another time for the apocalypse. Give or take a few minutes, we will soon find out when the end of the world happens to us all,” Dan Blanchard, a researcher from Boston, Massachusetts, MIT told the Boston Times.

Either way, there are going to be a lot of severely disappointed people soon.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
ds-freedom-expression-banner

1 COMMENT

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!