17.7 C
London
Sunday, December 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldStarving Americans Get Urgent Food Aid

Starving Americans Get Urgent Food Aid

GEORGIA - USA - Starving American citizens were given urgent food assistance by the United Nations World Food Programme on Friday.

ai

“We got people who ain’t eaten for weeks here. They threw some grain into the crowd and there were people eating that shit up like it was waffles with maple syrup. I never seen anything like it. We like a Third World nation,” Lashonta Jackson, 43, a starving woman in the crowd recalled afterwards.

Hundreds of people stampeded the Walmart car park to get some food aid, as the WFP trucks came close. The stewards and aid workers marshalled the crowd into an enclosed area of the former shopping mall to distribute the sacks and boxes of wheat and rice.

“I gots me my first meal in over a week. Hmm hmm, it like Christmas here. Thank the lord for the food, it went straight down my gullet, I gots me a full stomach now, and I going to relax with a toothpick in the corner,” Jim Bob Mulrooney, 27, said licking his lips.

Chief operations director for the WFP, Margaret Seronam, spoke of her anguish at the plight of these Americans: “With a bankrupt government, a 20 trillion dollar deficit and millions of people starving, we are here to help America pull through its greatest nightmare. I’ve never seen anything as harrowing and disturbing as this. Even in Somalia and Zimbabwe, or Ethiopia it was never this bad.”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
ds-freedom-expression-banner

4 COMMENTS

  1. I've been preparing for this for years. We have a place in Oregon to go too from NYC. We got guns, secret shelter and food for 5 years. When the **** hits the fan we're outta here. The civil war is gonna be a race war and hunger war cuz all the hungry people wit no food. My estimate is Feb or Mar 2013 its gonna start best be ready.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -ds-santa-banner

NEWS ON THE HOUR

ds-pope-banner

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!