World

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Now Claiming Overtime

LONDON - England - The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse seem to be working overtime in 2020.

You can’t say that 2020 did not start off with a bang. First we had the Australian fires, then we had the locusts, we currently are enjoying the COVID-19 coronavirus, as well as the complete precipitous fall of the markets. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have certainly been busy.

“It’s a hard job but somebody’s gotta do it, ooh look at that market fall,” Pestilence quips from atop his horsey.

Famine is rather sanguine about his role in the whole sordid affair: “I empty the supermarkets, but then some busy body comes along and puts things back on the shelf, so I empty the shelves again. It’s an ongoing thing.”

War, however holds back awhile: “I’m waiting in the background but I’m still here, and when the time comes I’ll be working flat out!”

As for Death, he’s always around, and works his trade with quiet determination: “There’s a lot to go through, so many of these humans to touch with my bony fingers and direct them towards the infinite darkness. Sorry folks but there is no heaven, once your brain shuts off that’s it!”

Together, the four horsemen ride through each part of the globe conducting their affairs with ruthless efficiency.

One supposes the blame must go to the Lamb of God for this whole sorry episode.

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