Japanese Hold Coronavirus Festival

OKAYAMA - Japan - The festival where thousands of naked men are all squashed together has been hailed as a great coronavirus success by the officiating priests.

Thousands of Japanese people stripped down naked and gathered in an enclosed stadium to see who could spread the coronavirus the most.

“This is the stupendous moment I have always been waiting for, to not only have another Jap’s sweaty penis jammed between my buttocks but to contract and spread coronavirus COVID-19 all over Japan,” one squashed naked Japanese sushi worker yelped as the crowd moved forward.

10,000 men take part in the festivities, dressed only in simple white loincloths and tabi socks. This year was very special and the festival prize was changed at the last minute to accommodate the deadly new Chinese virus.

“Sweating, sneezing and touching other half-naked men to spread the coronavirus further is the real prize,” Shinjuku Mara, one of the priests present told Okayama news outlet, JOVI-66.8 FM.

The festivities don’t just end there. Whoever spreads coronavirus to as many festival revellers as possible will receive a swift kick in the gangoolies which is said to bring good luck to the receiver for the year.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

The Dekulakization of British Farms is Underway

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - Say goodbye to British farms as Labour conducts a policy…

6 hours ago

Early Votes Indicate Kamala Harris Will Win Election

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Kamala Harris is well ahead with early ballots counted, and…

24 hours ago

Kamala Harris Wants to Do Rally With Load of Garbage

MILWAUKEE - USA - The Kamala Harris election campaign team want her to do a…

1 day ago

Bond Markets Digest the Nightmare Debt Bomb Labour Budget

LONDON - England - The financial and bond markets have sadly digested the utter lies…

3 days ago

Biden Hate Speech: “Trump Supporters Are Garbage!”

WASHINGTON DC - USA - According to Joe Biden "Trump supporters are garbage" as he…

3 days ago

Labour Nightmare Budget: You Voted For This So Enjoy It

MANCHESTER - England - The people who voted for Labour should enjoy every moment of…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.