Prince Harry Could Have Benefits Cut

LONDON - England - Prince Harry is no better than a chav on benefits, many royal commentators are now saying.

Prince Harry’s chav credentials have been confirmed by his spokesman.

Prince Harry’s spokesman, Lawrence Granger, made a statement on behalf of the prince, who is in hiding at the moment after nude photographs were published of the prince yesterday: “The prince is very sorry for the hurt he has caused his family, the army and his late mother. Prince Harry has blamed his crazy antics on many factors. He is a product of a broken home, his family are living off taxpayers and he has grown up on estates all his life. He has also spent time in institutions which have made the problems worse.”

The Prime Minister, David Cameron has suggested that Prince Harry could have his benefits cut if he does not pull his weight and get a job or carry on with his Job Seekers program.

“We are monitoring Prince Harry’s case very closely, and we feel that he needs some serious help to get out of his chavvy ways. I am suggesting a taxpayer funded safari trip for young offenders could get him on the right track and also community service, which could give him a sense of responsibility and civic duty. We must try and instill some decent values in this miscreant, and I’m willing to hug the hoody, or should I say hug the Harry. Chavs like him need care and attention and not aggressive methods of rehabilitation. If you get too harsh with them they riot, as happened last summer,” Mr Cameron told Radio 4’s Politics program today.

The defiant prince ignored pleas to change his ways today by buying up a souped up Seat Leon Cupra with 54 inch rims, undercar lighting, tinted windows, a 50 inch diameter exhaust and a sound system that can make a corgi explode all over the upholstery.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Tories Choose Non-Hardline Diversity Candidate Kemi Badenoch as Next Leader

LONDON - England - The Tories have chosen Kemi Badenoch as their new leader.

7 hours ago

The Dekulakization of British Farms is Underway

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - Say goodbye to British farms as Labour conducts a policy…

14 hours ago

Early Votes Indicate Kamala Harris Will Win Election

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Kamala Harris is well ahead with early ballots counted, and…

1 day ago

Kamala Harris Wants to Do Rally With Load of Garbage

MILWAUKEE - USA - The Kamala Harris election campaign team want her to do a…

2 days ago

Bond Markets Digest the Nightmare Debt Bomb Labour Budget

LONDON - England - The financial and bond markets have sadly digested the utter lies…

3 days ago

Biden Hate Speech: “Trump Supporters Are Garbage!”

WASHINGTON DC - USA - According to Joe Biden "Trump supporters are garbage" as he…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.