Young Ladies Celebrate Their A-Level Results

BRISTOL - England - It's that time of the year again where all the papers put up pictures of the cream of the crop A-level totty jumping for joy in fields with pieces of paper in their hands.

According to all the newspapers, these young fair skinned nubile ladies have just passed their A-Level examinations.

“You might as well put up a picture of a young filly licking the head of a vanilla ice cream as she delicately flicks the succulent white fluffy substance all over her tongue winking her eye at you. It’s certainly a welcome moment in the year when the A-levels come along, that’s for sure. Beats looking at pics of some poor f*cker who just got their legs blown off in Afghanistan,” retired Colonel Samuel Treblinka, told the Daily Telegraph.

Another avid newspaper reader said: “I certainly commend the newspaper editors every year who post these pics of young ladies fresh from studying, passing their exams. As they twirl in the fields clutching their papers against their straining blouses, their innocence is captured for a second, of course before they are tossed into the cruel world of university or unemployment. Such is the cruel nature of life to see these beautiful young white women, so full of promise displaying their soft lithe bodies to everyone. They are stars for an A-Level moment. Who shall be chosen next year to be photographed and become instantly famous? I am sure they await the moment when the press photographers turn up on exam result day. Just don’t let the wife catch you salivating over the pictures or you’ll be in the f*cking dog house.”

More A-Level goodies next year. Yum.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: exams

Recent Posts

EXPERTS: “Net Zero” is Impossible to Achieve Unless…

LONDON - England - The Earthwise think tank has outlined why it is futile for…

23 mins ago

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

10 hours ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

21 hours ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

22 hours ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

1 day ago

Prince Harry Consults Elon Musk About Travelling to Mars

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry is in consultation with Elon Musk about travelling to…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.