World

Election 2019: This is a Sad Day For Communism

LONDON - England - It is a sad day for communism today as Labour have lost the election under their erstwhile leader, Jeremy Corbyn.

There were tears all across the country as Labour lost the election under their Communist leader Comrade Corbyn.

“Today, Stalin weeps in his grave. Our Bolshevik Soviet revolution has been thwarted. I will continue to fight for the red cause and my 10-year collectivist plan. I will not give in to the people who value wealth, aspiration, and democracy,” Comrade Corbyn said from his dacha in Islington.

There were some voters who voted for communism to be instated in Britain, and all across the country, all one could hear was the sound of weeping.

“I am speechless, I thought with all my heart that today we would all be living in a Soviet communist country where all businesses would be nationalised and ownership of private property would be banned,” one Labour supporter revealed whilst crying over their cabbage soup.

Labour Commissars across the nation woke up to the sad news, some of them even losing their seats.

There will now be NO FREE BROADBAND, NO FREE UNIVERSITIES, NO FREE SAFARI TRIPS TO AFRICA, NO FREE BREAST IMPLANTS, NO FREE WAITROSE VOUCHERS, NO FREE TRAVEL, NO FREE DENTAL HEALTHCARE, and most of all no free massive national debt to pay for it all for generations to come.

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