Team GB Claws Back Gold That Gordon Brown Sold Off

LONDON - England - The Olympic GB team has won so much gold that they've got it coming out of their ears.

“Gordon Brown sold off the UK’s gold reserves at the bottom of the market in 1999 losing the UK economy £10 billion when he was the Chancellor of the Exchequer. We’re trying to claw back some of the losses he incurred on the British people and economy when he sold off 400 tonnes of our gold at rock bottom prices,” Desmond Lenolson, an Olympic Heptathlon gold medal winner told the Daily Mail.

Unfortunately for the athletes, the Olympic gold medals are not worth much in gold value but are worth more in future sponsorship deals for athletes as well as advertising revenue for the future.

“It’s worth a try though, there was Gordo who put Great Britain in the shitter and here we are bringing it back from the brink. We’ve got so many golds for Team GB that we don’t know what to do with ’em. It’s marvellous mate, we’ve shown everyone that there is hope in the country yet. Hooray!” another happy Team GB gold medal winner said.

Treasury documents released under a freedom of information request revealed the sorry truth that Ed Balls and Ed Miliband were both implicitly involved on the gold sale while working as Special Advisers to Gordon Brown at the time of the sale.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: olympics

Recent Posts

ANALYSTS: Putin Does Not Need to Attack the UK – Labour Are Doing it Already

MOSCOW - Russia - A group of defence analysts revealed that Putin does not need…

8 hours ago

WW3 WATCH: Why is Russia Mass Producing Nuclear Shelters?

MOSCOW - Russia - The Kremlin has ordered the mass production of nuclear shelters throughout…

2 days ago

EXPERTS: “Net Zero” is Impossible to Achieve Unless…

LONDON - England - The Earthwise think tank has outlined why it is futile for…

2 days ago

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

3 days ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

3 days ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.