Shooting is a Form of Greeting in America

DALLAS - USA - How do you know if an American likes you? Well, the bullet holes in your chest should be a clue.

Americans love their guns so much that now social science experts have for the first time identified the different ways Americans greet each other.

“Hello. Bang!”

“Three bursts of a semi automatic means that you are happy to meet someone, but emptying a whole clip into someone you just met means that you are extra pleased to see them,” social scientist at Texas University, Dr. Gabriel Batista, told Science Journal magazine.

If you turn up to a meeting in public wearing a bullet proof vest, then you are seen by other Americans as disrespectful to gun play.

“Bulletproof vests or any type of body armour are a real no, no. You’ll get a head shot just for that, because you’re giving off the vibe that you don’t want to get shot. That’s a serious diss to a shooter,” Dr. Batista added.

“Is that a gun in your pocket..?”

If a shooter sprays bullets in every direction shooting as much as he can indiscriminately, this is seen as a sign of true joy for an American.

Spraying bullets everywhere means that an American is reaching out in all directions. He or she is showing their love for everything. Americans are very passionate people and guns are a way of showing their affection.

“As for wearing a turban in the presence of an American packing a semi-automatic pistol, you might as well put a f*cking target on your head. It’s open season on your ass,” Graham Egsitwund, an NRA spokesman in El Paso told CNN.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Comrades, We Wish 760,000 Pensioners a Merry Freezing Christmas Death

GRIMSBY - England - The People's Soviet Republic of Britain and Labour Party are hoping…

4 hours ago

Beyond Satire: ‘Anti-Islamist’ Saudi Ploughs Car Through German Christmas Market

MAGDEBURG - Germany - Another beyond satire moment where an Arab migrant doctor who claims…

2 days ago

Lord Mandy Sent By Starmer to Washington to Thwart Trump

LONDON - England - Lord Mandy is being sent by Starmer to Washington to keep…

2 days ago

COVER-UP: Daily Squib Knew Biden Was Senile and Unfit Before 2020

LONDON - England - What the mainstream media is reporting today, the Daily Squib knew…

2 days ago

Why Eco and Green Groups Are Silent Over Labour Plans to Bulldoze Protected Countryside

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - It is rather funny that the eco and green groups…

4 days ago

Pensioners Are Freezing This Christmas Thanks to Starmer and Reeves

SCUNTHORPE - England - The evil Labour Party and Keir Starmer are laughing with glee…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.