You Can Take Those GCSEs Off Your CV Now

LONDON - England - Anyone who has a GCSE on their CV will have to remove the useless qualification from their resumes as of tomorrow, government minister, Michael Gove has announced.

There will be no more newspaper pictures of teens jumping around in fields anymore after receiving their GCSE results, because their ‘qualifications’ do not mean a thing.

“This is a great relief to many because it shows the dumbing down of qualifications has created an altogether dumber youth who think they have qualifications when in reality they certainly do not. You can have all the A grades you want in your GCSEs, you might as well make it all up, because it never meant anything to anyone apart from yourself. You think you’re qualified? There has to be a new approach to education where children are taught something that has a purpose and qualification standard that actually tests people instead of giving them top marks for minimal work. The GCSEs doled out to kids like smarties meant absolutely nothing, and due to the nature of the course work, the majority of teachers would help students pass their courses and enable them to be another pass statistic within the failing education system,” a minister working on the new O level project told the BBC today.

The Liberal Democrats, led by Nick Clegg, have vowed to fight the new O level qualifications.

“We plan to fight this at every step. It is imperative that we have a dumbed down population who are unemployable and illiterate. The O level exams are too hard and people will have to actually work to get them. This will mean that there will be more obvious differences in intelligence, as opposed to GCSEs where the whole populace got A grades, now only a small amount of people would get A grades. That is just not fair,” Mr Clegg said, sobbing into a handkerchief during parliament, yesterday.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

The Public Sacrifice of Trump and the Dawn of a New Age of Women

WASHINGTON DC - USA - The dawn of a new age of women calls for…

18 hours ago

Why Labour is Killing Off Aspiration, Entrepreneurs and Deterring Foreign Investors

LONDON - England - We provide the reasons why the Labour Party is killing off…

19 hours ago

It’s Over For Trump: The Swamp Preparing to Release Kamala

WASHINGTON DC - USA - The Swamp is preparing to unleash Kamala Harris fully on…

2 days ago

Tories Choose Non-Hardline Diversity Candidate Kemi Badenoch as Next Leader

LONDON - England - The Tories have chosen Kemi Badenoch as their new leader.

3 days ago

The Dekulakization of British Farms is Underway

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - Say goodbye to British farms as Labour conducts a policy…

3 days ago

Early Votes Indicate Kamala Harris Will Win Election

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Kamala Harris is well ahead with early ballots counted, and…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.