17.7 C
London
Saturday, November 2, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldPalace Insiders: Meghan Markle Ordered the Queen Around

Palace Insiders: Meghan Markle Ordered the Queen Around

WINDSOR - England - Things are not turning out so well for the new Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, with the Queen.

Meghan Markle (dubbed ‘Megain’ by royal courtiers) is not making any friends in palace circles as of late, and the descent into the black books continue daily with her actions which are perceived as rude, blunt and frankly very common.

“After Meghan snubbed the Queen’s invite to Balmoral, instead opting to jinx her tennis mate Serena Williams by attending her match in America, even the mention of her name around the Queen brings silence. The implanted Duchess of Sussex has shown herself to be as common as muck, and noses are firmly turned when anyone even mentions her name,” royal commentator, Ariel Huntington revealed over the weekend.

There are also reports that Meghan attempted to order the Queen around, who she views as being too old and stuffy.

“The Duchess whilst attending Buckingham Palace to dine with the upper royals, ordered the Queen to bring her ketchup to slap on her serving of Beluga caviar. When the Queen winced and said it was just not on to do that, Meghan got angry and said she has to have ketchup on everything. She then went on a tirade about the progressive modernizing of the royal family, equality, inclusion and that is the way things should be done. She also demanded corn on the cob with her foie gras. Prince Philip immediately assumed the colour of a beetroot and steam was seen to be emanating from his flapping ears. He was very close to blowing. Meghan Markle, after covering the caviar with tomato ketchup ate it hurriedly even slurping, before storming off from the table much to the astonishment of everyone assembled. Prince Harry who was quiet throughout, hurried after his wife squeaking for her to come back,” a palace insider revealed.

Meghan also likes to walk at considerable speed whilst in the palaces, and constantly tells the Queen to hurry up.

“The Queen is understandably for her age a bit slow when walking and this does not play well for the Pushy trainee Duchess who does things very fast. If she wants something it has to be given to her in less than five minutes, or she starts getting very anxious and angry. She constantly berates the 94-year-old Queen to “hurry the hell up” as they walk along the corridors. She will usually say the words under her breath, as Her Majesty lumbers along slowly, maybe stopping to admire a painting or piece of furniture. The Queen however is not as stupid as Megain thinks, and hears and sees everything,” another palace insider revealed.

Suffice to say, the celebrity actress is now a pariah within palace circles, and even mention of her name draws rolled eyes and whispers.

One can only feel sorrow for the royal family who have not been blessed with good fortune, especially when it comes to their grandchildren’s marriage choices.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!