England Gripped By Terrible Drought

TEWKESBURY - England - Official drought zones have been declared in a further 25 English counties, as a warning came that the drought could last until Christmas.

England’s South West and the Midlands have moved into official drought status even though they are all “under 18 feet of rain water”, the Environment Agency said.

The Midlands region covering Nottinghamshire, Leicestershire, Derbyshire, Staffordshire, West Midlands, Warwickshire, Shropshire, Worcestershire, Herefordshire and Gloucestershire are so far under water, that people can’t even find their hosepipes to ban them.

“It’s ridiculous. They told me I can’t use my hosepipe or water my plants, but I can’t actually find my garden anymore under the water and forget about running a bath, that floated away two days ago. This is certainly the wettest drought I’ve ever experienced,” Reginald Mucklestwat, 58, from the village of Twittleberry in Gloucestershire, told the BBC from a boat.

The media frenzy over the hosepipe ban has escalated with drought related news stories popping up all over England’s media every few seconds.

The BBC, ITV and Sky news all sent their reporters to the drought ridden areas wearing scuba diving equipment as more reports of drought were rolled out ad infinitum.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Don’t Expect Any Help From the NYPD If You’re On the Subway Burning

NEW YORK - USA - Ever wanted to go to NYC? Don't bother. It's not…

11 hours ago

Why Labour Needs to Keep Doing What They’re Doing

LONDON - England - There is a valid reason to allow Labour to continue what…

12 hours ago

Comrades, We Wish 760,000 Pensioners a Merry Freezing Christmas Death

GRIMSBY - England - The People's Soviet Republic of Britain and Labour Party are hoping…

1 day ago

Beyond Satire: ‘Anti-Islamist’ Saudi Ploughs Car Through German Christmas Market

MAGDEBURG - Germany - Another beyond satire moment where an Arab migrant doctor who claims…

3 days ago

Lord Mandy Sent By Starmer to Washington to Thwart Trump

LONDON - England - Lord Mandy is being sent by Starmer to Washington to keep…

3 days ago

COVER-UP: Daily Squib Knew Biden Was Senile and Unfit Before 2020

LONDON - England - What the mainstream media is reporting today, the Daily Squib knew…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.