17.7 C
London
Friday, November 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldBurns Woman: "Ministers Told Me to Pour Petrol in My Kitchen"

Burns Woman: "Ministers Told Me to Pour Petrol in My Kitchen"

GRIMLY - England - A woman who sustained 40% burns all over her body after pouring petrol in her kitchen while her stove was on, says that she would never have done it if Coalition government ministers had not told her to do it.

“I sustained 40% burns all over my body because I was told to stockpile petrol during the non-fuel strikes,” Jenny Thurdegree, told the Daily Mail.

The woman decided to pour petrol from one jerry can into another and did this while she was cooking a stew for her family in the kitchen.

“I was just pouring the petrol into the can when the fumes were set alight by the naked flame on the stove, naturally my clothes and hair caught fire and I sustained third degree burns all over my body. I blame the government for this,” Mrs Thurdegree said from her hospital bed.

An inquest will be held on Monday into how this terrible tragedy could have ever happened.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!