Obama Threatens to Clean Out White House if Loses Election

WASHINGTON DC - USA - President Barack Obama said that he and his wife were considering cleaning out the White House of all the TVs and furniture if he loses his re-election bid.

“If some Republican wins, well, they may go to an empty cleaned out White House. Hell we’ll even take the light bulbs and the bulbs from the fridge. I want to see their face when they walk into the White House and see it empty,” Mr Obama told a group of reporters after a state luncheon during the British prime minister’s visit.

Obama’s wife Michelle is rather partial to cleaning out US taxpayers with lavish vacations costing millions of dollars as well as hugely expensive shopping sprees and greedy displays of self indulgence.

“Michelle can’t get enough of the White House or any $5,000 a night hotel. She even takes the cutlery and bed sheets. I seen her put a 27 inch flat screen TV in her bag when she was in Spain on one of her multi-million dollar holidays last year,” one of Michelle Obama’s personal assistants revealed to CBS.

A typical Michelle Obama entourage involves over fifty five staff members not including additional hangers-on and friends and family. When she is on holiday the convoy can usually stretch for three quarters of a mile including her secret service detail and support staff, then behind her will be Obama’s convoy.

The Obamas say whatever happens, it’s a lose lose situation for the US taxpayer and they’re perfectly happy to clean out ‘whitey’ after four hundred years of slavery.

“This is owed to us by whitey. They owe us, and they better believe we’re going to get a slice of the cake. Now gibs me some of that dessert baby, we’re going to bankrupt those mofos and take ’em for everything they got off working blacks like mules for four hundred years,” Michelle said with a glint in her eye as she took a priceless painting from the Oval room’s wall and slipped it in a black plastic bag.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

WW3 WATCH: Why is Russia Mass Producing Nuclear Shelters?

MOSCOW - Russia - The Kremlin has ordered the mass production of nuclear shelters throughout…

5 hours ago

EXPERTS: “Net Zero” is Impossible to Achieve Unless…

LONDON - England - The Earthwise think tank has outlined why it is futile for…

7 hours ago

Netanyahu Forced to Travel in Disguise After ICC Puts Out Arrest Warrant

TEL AVIV - Israel - Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu may be forced to wear a…

17 hours ago

“Two Jags” John Prescott Goes to the Great Pie in the Abyss

HELL - The Eternal Inferno - "Two Jags" former Labour Deputy John Prescott will soon…

1 day ago

Experts: How Peaceful Protest Against Labour Tyranny Can Work

LONDON - England - A think tank has outlined methods ordinary citizens can conduct peaceful…

1 day ago

Forget Bacon and Eggs Labour Want to Replace Traditional Farms With Maggot Farms

GRIMSBY - England - Labour is planning to completely exterminate and erase traditional farms, replacing…

2 days ago

This website uses cookies.