17.7 C
London
Thursday, November 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldTory Party Extinction Activists Blockade Corridor in Westminster

Tory Party Extinction Activists Blockade Corridor in Westminster

LONDON - England - Tory party extinction protesters have blockaded parts of the House of Commons to try and save their political party.

The group of four remaining Tory party Extinction activists have blockaded a corridor in the House of Commons to protest the extinction of their party.

“We have reason to believe that a corridor leading to a bathroom was blockaded at 8am this morning by four surviving Conservative members,” a Commons security officer told the media.

After losing many former Tory voters, as well as the majority of the party’s grassroots, and funding, the Conservative party has been reduced to such a low level of enthusiasm that desperation has crept in to the last remaining members.

At 9am, a statement was read out by the leader of the Tory Party Extinction protest group.

“We have superglued our hands and feet to the walls and floor. We will not move until our party is restored to its full glory. This means, one thing has to go for that to happen, it’s that bloody witch Theresa May what’s done it. Oust her before we truly are extinct!”

Local elections in England and Wales on May 2nd will see the already ailing Tories lose over 1000 seats in local councils across the country.

Funding for the party, thanks to May’s ineptitude and Brexit Remainer stance has now completely ground to a halt.

The Tory party has also lost thousands of former voters, MPs and supporters because of Theresa May denying the Brexit people voted for in the EU Referendum.

The Westminster Tory Extinction protesters are threatening to block even more corridors if they do not have their way, however there aren’t anymore Tories to help them so they are now thinking of hiring protesters from other parties to help them out. With only £4.32 left in the Tory war chest, there is no one they can hire for that money.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!