World

Why Michelle Obama Will Not Run For President

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Even though Democrats are clambering over themselves to invite Michelle Obama to put herself up as a candidate for the presidency in the upcoming elections, the former first lady is refusing, for a very good reason.

To become a U.S president requires a full medical test and examination. Even though, Michelle Obama is riding high in popularity with American socialists after the success of her recent book, this one necessary requirement is the factor stopping the former first lady from putting herself forward as a candidate.

Many in the Democratic party are clamouring for Obama to run of the presidency in 2020. In addition to her consistently high approval rating, Obama brings with her an immoral fortitude and aspirational progressive tenor that so many are seeking from elected officials in the next election.

Obama, however, finds herself lacking on the main qualification for running for president—she has no interest in having herself examined medically, especially if this examination revealed anything she does not want to be revealed.

Despite her obvious talent for leadership, her imposing hulking figure, her charisma and her inspirational speeches, she says she is uninterested in running for president, purely because it could bring more scrutiny upon herself, and her true physicality.

Veteran campaign manager for the Democrats, Budd Heimey, revealed how he has tried but failed to persuade Michelle Obama to put herself forward for the role.

“Believe me I tried but she is an imposing figure. She put me in a headlock, as she has incredible strength and height, and told me in no uncertain terms that she did not want me to mention it again. Remember this woman has shoulders, and a grip that can crush walnuts. At one point I passed out, but she revived me with a hefty kick in the groin before telling me to ‘get the fuck out’.”

No one really knows why Michelle Obama would be avoiding a medical test as a requirement to become president.

At a recent weight lifting charity event where Michelle lifted up a 6’4 man with only one arm and tossed him across the room, reporters were lax to ask her.

“Remember what happened to Joan Rivers? Well, I got a mortgage, family and car payments and a life. That’s why I don’t ask questions about Michelle Obama,” one journalist for a well known news network revealed.

5:10 – 5:13

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Tories Choose Non-Hardline Diversity Candidate Kemi Badenoch as Next Leader

LONDON - England - The Tories have chosen Kemi Badenoch as their new leader.

5 hours ago

The Dekulakization of British Farms is Underway

THE COUNTRYSIDE - England - Say goodbye to British farms as Labour conducts a policy…

12 hours ago

Early Votes Indicate Kamala Harris Will Win Election

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Kamala Harris is well ahead with early ballots counted, and…

1 day ago

Kamala Harris Wants to Do Rally With Load of Garbage

MILWAUKEE - USA - The Kamala Harris election campaign team want her to do a…

2 days ago

Bond Markets Digest the Nightmare Debt Bomb Labour Budget

LONDON - England - The financial and bond markets have sadly digested the utter lies…

3 days ago

Biden Hate Speech: “Trump Supporters Are Garbage!”

WASHINGTON DC - USA - According to Joe Biden "Trump supporters are garbage" as he…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.