17.7 C
London
Saturday, November 2, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldNew Vote For Comrade Theresa May Ten Year EU Soviet Plan

New Vote For Comrade Theresa May Ten Year EU Soviet Plan

SEKTOR 101 - EU - Comrade Theresa May has spoken to the people from her dacha in Chequers today.

Addressing the people of the EU Soviet Sektor 101 Formerly Great Britain, Comrade Theresa May has spoken about the sector’s future in miserable slavery to our EU masters.

“COMRADES, men of the Remainer Army and Remainer Navy, commanders and political instructors, working men and working women, collective farmers-men and women, workers in the intellectual professions, brothers and sisters in the rear of our enemy who have temporarily fallen under the yoke of the Democratic brigands, and our valiant men and women guerillas who are destroying the rear of the capitalist Brexit shisters!

“On behalf of the EU Soviet Government and our Labour-Con Bolshevik Party I am greeting you and congratulating you on the first anniversary of the Great Remainer Socialist Revolution.

“Comrades, it is in strenuous circumstances that we are today celebrating the first anniversary of the Remainer Revolution. The perfidious attack of the Brexiteer brigands and the war which has been forced upon us have created a threat to our EU Sektor. The vile treacherous Brexiteers and their hunger for democracy, and sovereignty reckoned that after the very first EU Referendum our soviet socialist Remainer army would be dispersed, and our EU Sektor would be forced to her knees. But the enemy gravely miscalculated. In spite of temporary reverses, our Remainer treasonous army are heroically repulsing the Brexiteer’s attacks along the entire front and inflicting heavy losses upon them, while our EU Sektor—our entire European Union—has organized itself into one fighting camp in order, together with our Soviet Remainer forces, to encompass the rout of the Brexiteer invaders.

“There were times when our EU Stasi Sektor was in a still more difficult position. Remember the year 2016, when the former Great Britain conducted the largest democratic vote in the history of the country? 17.4 million of our country was at that time in the hands of treacherous democracy and freedom lovers. These scum, these miscreant capitalist democracy lovers voted to leave our beloved Soviet EU even after we skewed the election in our favour. But we did not become despondent, we did not lose heart. In the fire of corruption, treason and treachery we forged the Red Army and converted our country into a military camp. The spirit of the great Lenin animated us at that time for the war against the interventionists. And what happened? We routed the interventionists, and democracy lovers to recover all our lost territory, and achieved victory.

“Today the position of our country is far better than on June 23, 2016. Our country is now merely a Sektor of the great EU Communist Super-State. We are no longer enslaved to ridiculous aspirations of freedom, democracy or making our own laws. We are under the yoke of the European Union forever, and our Soviet collectivist assimilation is complete.

“For the complete destruction of the Brexiteers!”

“Death to the Brexit democratic vile pig swill!”

“Long live our glorious Motherland, Brussels, her Soviet Stasi prison!”

“Under the banner of Lenin, forward to victory!”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!