17.7 C
London
Saturday, November 2, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldBloodbath Tory Disaster Planned For Next Month's Local Elections

Bloodbath Tory Disaster Planned For Next Month’s Local Elections

LONDON - England - The May 2nd local elections will see many Tory councillors lose their seats because of the Theresa May betrayal of her own party, as well as denying voters democracy by thwarting Brexit.

Hundreds of Tory councillors will lose their seats next month in local elections because of Theresa May whose name is now associated with ‘betrayal’.

Conservative Associations across the country are finding that Mrs May’s name is so toxic with voters that the mere mention of the Prime Minister gets in the way of campaigning with some even showing their disgust by spitting or shouting.

On May 2 a total of 8,773 council seats will be contested across 259 councils in England and Northern Ireland. The Tories currently have control of 163 councils, Labour have 74 and the Liberal Democrats four.

Latest polling suggests the Conservatives will suffer heavy losses as voters punish them for Mrs May’s failure to deliver Brexit.

Toxic Theresa

Pollsters are now predicting the Conservatives will lose control of at least 100 councils simply because of toxic Theresa May and her role in betraying the people.

“Theresa May has taken the Tories back centuries and we will lose everything we have worked for. It is nigh on impossible to get canvassers or volunteers now. Even mentioning May’s name to voters can have violent effects, with one man headbutting a canvasser when he dared to. This is unworkable,” a Tory council worker revealed.

As predicted by the Daily Squib, because of Theresa May and her Remainer cult, who have actively deferred Brexit two times already and consorted with Jeremy Corbyn, the Tories will be thrown into the political wilderness for at least thirty years.

“What we are seeing here is a PM who does not care for her councillors, her own party, her voters, and ultimately the whole country. Theresa May is now so reviled for destroying Britain’s democracy that many people say her name when they step on a dog shit. How bad is that?” another Tory councillor who will lose his seat revealed.

Anne Hedgerow, the councillor for the Milliscombe and Trentonsplean ward, was asked four times by the BBC whether she would like to praise the Conservatives’ handling of Brexit, but would only say: “I am a Conservative candidate in the local elections and I will do the very best I can for my residents in the local elections. In other words, I’m fucked.”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!