How to Win Hearts and Minds the American Way

BAGRAM - Afghanistan - An American General has written an in depth analysis about the US campaign to win the hearts and mind of Afghans.

“First you burn the Qur’ans, then you leave them lying around so that the Afghans can find them,” General Thomas Petersquash, a four star General with the US army told Stars and Stripes magazine.

One thing is for certain, the American strategy in Afghanistan seems to be working wonders.

“They [the Afghans] discovered the burnt Qur’ans yesterday, and now we have a situation on our hands. Like we’ve had two US marines shot to death this morning and hordes of Afghans spilling over the perimeter walls trying to tear us to pieces with their bare hands. I think they’re trying to show us that they love us,” a senior ranking US official said from his bunker deep in a secret location somewhere in Kabul.

Don’t worry, the $5 trillion worth of valuable mineral deposits lying in Afghanistan are still safe as long as the Americans keep a low profile in their bases and contract the work out to sympathetic money hungry locals.

Help Support Independent Publishers

PLEASE SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice and coffee.
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: afghanistan

Recent Posts

“When yo kids hungry jus’ take ’em to da sto!”

ATLANTA - USA - We're getting some sage advice from denizens of the African American…

1 day ago

Celebrity Couple ‘ARE dating’ and ‘have been together for ‘over a year’

HOLLYWOOD - USA - A celebrity couple are dating and have been together for over…

2 days ago

Commissar Reeves Announces Great News About the Shrinking UK Economy

SCUNTHORPE - England - The shrinking UK economy thanks to Commissar Reeves is now lower…

2 days ago

Experts: The Globe is Entering a New Trump Renaissance

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - According to experts at a prominent think tank, the globe…

2 days ago

Trump: “Don’t call me a flip-flopper. I don’t wear flip-flops!”

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - The Donald has denied he is a flip-flopper or wears…

2 days ago

Comrade Starmer Appoints New Big State Tsar to Fix Big State

GRIMSBY - England - Comrade Starmer has appointed a new Big State tsar to fix…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.